May 05, 2011
re-emergence
sorry for the hiatus (both of you that look at this - especially since one is my wife)
have been distracted with my oral boards this month and kind of wrote this off for a while.
back in the saddle now. working on a new post. radio silence ended for now
have been distracted with my oral boards this month and kind of wrote this off for a while.
back in the saddle now. working on a new post. radio silence ended for now
April 01, 2011
March 25, 2011
bit of a blurt
sorry for a long delay. had a few strange instances in life right now that have taken some precedence, but back to some blogging for catharsis
caution - this one's a little more serious
so a few weeks ago i had a bit of a blurt. if you've followed this much, you've seen we're still in the church shopping mode still - although we've been here 7 months now. hard to think we still having difficulty getting the right fit. we'll we were trying a community church for the 3rd sunday in a row. its a little more charasmatic than we're used to growing up. usually powerful worship and reasonable speaking. i'm very open that i'm a little over critical about churches but i feel like i need to be if this is going to be a major influence stream on my family and I.
even the beginning was a little rocky as we dropped our 2yr old off. 14 kids - one 18 yr old teacher - oh and she had a 12 yr old helping her. i kinda had vision of a lord of the flies scene on our return which was pretty close.
things started with kinda some of the usual - the early "shake your neighbor's hand and meet somebody" that usually equals a good morning and a quick turn away. its quick. you don't know if they have coffee breath - thankfully they didn't smell yours. not for the timid and shy in the crowd - but a nice segway for a play on interaction amongst parishoners. worship was long and a little forced for meaning. and then during the sermon it happened. the "founding pastor" of the church spoke and said something that was not in alignment with scripture - and both my wife and i completely out of character blurted out "that's not true"
whoa moment. i'm not super confrontational - and my wife is definately not - the Spirit was leading. God spoke - even through us - lost sheep in a endless church hunt. it was evident our trial here was finished.
have you had one of those moments? when God spurts out of your mouth before you even thought about it. when he bellows from tainted depths? makes me a little nervous to walk into a church i don't know a bit about beforehand. the hunt continues - but we're for real narrowed to 2.
caution - this one's a little more serious
so a few weeks ago i had a bit of a blurt. if you've followed this much, you've seen we're still in the church shopping mode still - although we've been here 7 months now. hard to think we still having difficulty getting the right fit. we'll we were trying a community church for the 3rd sunday in a row. its a little more charasmatic than we're used to growing up. usually powerful worship and reasonable speaking. i'm very open that i'm a little over critical about churches but i feel like i need to be if this is going to be a major influence stream on my family and I.
even the beginning was a little rocky as we dropped our 2yr old off. 14 kids - one 18 yr old teacher - oh and she had a 12 yr old helping her. i kinda had vision of a lord of the flies scene on our return which was pretty close.
things started with kinda some of the usual - the early "shake your neighbor's hand and meet somebody" that usually equals a good morning and a quick turn away. its quick. you don't know if they have coffee breath - thankfully they didn't smell yours. not for the timid and shy in the crowd - but a nice segway for a play on interaction amongst parishoners. worship was long and a little forced for meaning. and then during the sermon it happened. the "founding pastor" of the church spoke and said something that was not in alignment with scripture - and both my wife and i completely out of character blurted out "that's not true"
whoa moment. i'm not super confrontational - and my wife is definately not - the Spirit was leading. God spoke - even through us - lost sheep in a endless church hunt. it was evident our trial here was finished.
have you had one of those moments? when God spurts out of your mouth before you even thought about it. when he bellows from tainted depths? makes me a little nervous to walk into a church i don't know a bit about beforehand. the hunt continues - but we're for real narrowed to 2.
March 14, 2011
toon
there are only so many ways to say i'm sorry.
sorry about the hiatus. had a stange few days. got a few cooking in the hopper.
March 04, 2011
March 03, 2011
ED senses...part 2
***so continuing my disclaimer about this series - likely slightly graphic and descriptive
hide yo children, hide yo wife...
3. smell - there's a lot of smells in the ED as you can imagine. homeless people, stinky feet, stinky "other parts" one distinctive smell is an infected wound - especially if its infected with a particular bug called pseudomonas - one look and one whiff and your on your way to an antibiotic cocktail and a bed upstairs. it has this unique quality.
then there's C. diff - its this awesome watery diarrhea from overgrowth of bacteria in your colon - it got one of those pungent distinctive rank to it. the kind where the vomit just gets to the back of your throat. i must say, i've proudly never actually puked in a patient's room in the ED. I've come really close before once when i was doing a rectal exam and got such an explosive whiff and a little bit of results that it nearly had me chunkin in the corner. thankfully some composure and plenty of laughs outside the room - whew, close call. that's not saying i haven't puked at work. one time back when i was a surgery intern i once puked 3 times in a patient's room while i was trying to examine her. even she told me to go home - too bad that wasn't really allowed.
there's one more distinctive odor worth mentioning - the infamous foul pelvic exam - usually BV's the culprit - this is where you merely have to walk in the room to do the pelvic without actually having to do it to know what's going on. In medical school they teach something called the "whiff test" where you are supposed to smell the vaginal discharge - if it smells "fishy" then you've got a ringer - no need to send it to the lab. nice and gross - i don't usually take it to my nose and whiff - the view and waft is usually all you need.
4. touch - this could be so many things - i'll probably keep it simple though.
some are simple joys - like when you feel a strong pulse of the patient's own heartbeat after some CPR - those are good. even if they only last for a little while. the indistinguishable clunk of a shoulder or hip reduction after its been dislocated from its socket. most are not so good. the opposite feel of no pulse in a cold leg, the cold clammy skin of patient dying of sepsis (bacterial overgrowth in the blood), the numerous amount of times a day i have to give a rectal to feel a prostate or check for blood (neither participant likes that part - despite what you think) - amazing i can go to so much school and i still get to stick my finger in places where the sun doesn't shine (most of the time)
5. taste - i can't say i taste much of anything in the ED - did you know in the old days they used to sip patient's urine to see if it tasted sweet and they were spilling glucose (sugar) out in their urine. awesome - thank goodness for the lab. not sure i'd see many patients if that was part of my repetoire
i'm starting to sense a theme....
hide yo children, hide yo wife...
3. smell - there's a lot of smells in the ED as you can imagine. homeless people, stinky feet, stinky "other parts" one distinctive smell is an infected wound - especially if its infected with a particular bug called pseudomonas - one look and one whiff and your on your way to an antibiotic cocktail and a bed upstairs. it has this unique quality.
then there's C. diff - its this awesome watery diarrhea from overgrowth of bacteria in your colon - it got one of those pungent distinctive rank to it. the kind where the vomit just gets to the back of your throat. i must say, i've proudly never actually puked in a patient's room in the ED. I've come really close before once when i was doing a rectal exam and got such an explosive whiff and a little bit of results that it nearly had me chunkin in the corner. thankfully some composure and plenty of laughs outside the room - whew, close call. that's not saying i haven't puked at work. one time back when i was a surgery intern i once puked 3 times in a patient's room while i was trying to examine her. even she told me to go home - too bad that wasn't really allowed.
there's one more distinctive odor worth mentioning - the infamous foul pelvic exam - usually BV's the culprit - this is where you merely have to walk in the room to do the pelvic without actually having to do it to know what's going on. In medical school they teach something called the "whiff test" where you are supposed to smell the vaginal discharge - if it smells "fishy" then you've got a ringer - no need to send it to the lab. nice and gross - i don't usually take it to my nose and whiff - the view and waft is usually all you need.
4. touch - this could be so many things - i'll probably keep it simple though.
some are simple joys - like when you feel a strong pulse of the patient's own heartbeat after some CPR - those are good. even if they only last for a little while. the indistinguishable clunk of a shoulder or hip reduction after its been dislocated from its socket. most are not so good. the opposite feel of no pulse in a cold leg, the cold clammy skin of patient dying of sepsis (bacterial overgrowth in the blood), the numerous amount of times a day i have to give a rectal to feel a prostate or check for blood (neither participant likes that part - despite what you think) - amazing i can go to so much school and i still get to stick my finger in places where the sun doesn't shine (most of the time)
5. taste - i can't say i taste much of anything in the ED - did you know in the old days they used to sip patient's urine to see if it tasted sweet and they were spilling glucose (sugar) out in their urine. awesome - thank goodness for the lab. not sure i'd see many patients if that was part of my repetoire
i'm starting to sense a theme....
March 01, 2011
February 27, 2011
first kisses
so my wife and I were watching this gum commercial that said the average person has 28 first kisses. 28? that sure seemed like a lot to us. of course i guess we're a bit of an anomaly since we've known each other since junior high. i only got to like 18 - my wife thankfully was less at 12. i assume i'm one of them. but think about it - 28 - that's a lot of lips and spit. in today's society that a reasonable amount of something else as well? the human mouth has 600 different species of bacteria with 100 million per mililiter of spit - yikes! and then you're swapping with 28 others - i'm not really a super germ-a-phobe despite being a microbiology major, but that kinda makes you reconsider kissing strangers (i've honestly been trying to cut back, especially the beards). how many have you swapped with in your lifetime?
February 21, 2011
February 17, 2011
ED senses
so first a disclaimer - this is going to get a bit graphic, but there is this sick sense of humor quality that permeates all minds that spend to much time in the ER. so now that that's done ---
there's the quality about the ED that you develop where you hone your senses onto a new level. the 5 senses seems to take on a different form and your start to recognized unmistakable patterns in patient populations universal across all emergency departments - if you work in one, you'll know exactly what I mean - otherwise you'll get it soon enough as I break it down.
1. sight - there are quite a few unmistakable things you'll see. one my personal favorites is the "PID shuffle" - its stands for pelvic inflammatory disease - its an unmistakable walk a young liberated female has when she's got a pretty bad STD - they tend to drag their feet along the ground basically trying to keep there legs as closed as humanly possible - i've still never decided if its because of 1. pain 2. not wanting more things to escape or 3.not wanting anything else inside - my humor side says 3 - but my repeat business tells me that 3 only lasts so long. of course its easily treatable and curable until you reinfect - which reminds me of a great moment I had in the ED a few days ago -
Me: Mrs. X, I sorry to tell you, but you have trichomonas - its a sexually transmitted disease, but its easily treatable.
Her: Really? so how'd I get it?
Me: Maam, you have trichomonas - its a sexually transmitted disease.
Her: well, you must be mistaken. I only sleep with one guy.
Me: Maam, you have trichomonas - its a sexually transmitted disease.
Her: Am I going to have it forever?
Me: Maam, you have trichomonas - its a sexually transmitted disease, but its easily treatable.
Her: oh good, so after we treat it I can't get it again, right?
the sight of blood is inevitable as well. blood doesn't bother me - the only blood that is bothersome is squirting blood. squirting blood mean i have to do something about it sooner rather than later. well usually. all bleeding eventually stops - direct pressure clots off things - so does death - unfortunately i've stopped bleeding both ways
2. sound - there a distinctive sound that reasonates occasionally - the sound of a demented old lady feeling like she's being attacked. i guess in a way she is - we usually are stabbing her with a large sharp needle or trying to put a catheter in her bladder which only goes in one way. this noise is less bothersome. the screaming of a drug seeker usually tops all- my personal favorite. as long as its not my patient - "give me the name of your supervisior" "I'm reporting you to the state" "all i wanted was help for my pain and you ignored me" "you'll be hearing from my lawyer" - thank you sir - i heard that the last 8 times you were here. thankfully narcotics are all discretionary - i'm not obligated to give anyone anything if i don't feel its justified. and the hospital/state/lawyers back you up usually.
the real clincher is the hollaring of a disimpaction. no one calls for mommy quicker than when you've gotta pull poop out of them. lets just say old captain hook usually does the job.
other senses to come...
there's the quality about the ED that you develop where you hone your senses onto a new level. the 5 senses seems to take on a different form and your start to recognized unmistakable patterns in patient populations universal across all emergency departments - if you work in one, you'll know exactly what I mean - otherwise you'll get it soon enough as I break it down.
1. sight - there are quite a few unmistakable things you'll see. one my personal favorites is the "PID shuffle" - its stands for pelvic inflammatory disease - its an unmistakable walk a young liberated female has when she's got a pretty bad STD - they tend to drag their feet along the ground basically trying to keep there legs as closed as humanly possible - i've still never decided if its because of 1. pain 2. not wanting more things to escape or 3.not wanting anything else inside - my humor side says 3 - but my repeat business tells me that 3 only lasts so long. of course its easily treatable and curable until you reinfect - which reminds me of a great moment I had in the ED a few days ago -
Me: Mrs. X, I sorry to tell you, but you have trichomonas - its a sexually transmitted disease, but its easily treatable.
Her: Really? so how'd I get it?
Me: Maam, you have trichomonas - its a sexually transmitted disease.
Her: well, you must be mistaken. I only sleep with one guy.
Me: Maam, you have trichomonas - its a sexually transmitted disease.
Her: Am I going to have it forever?
Me: Maam, you have trichomonas - its a sexually transmitted disease, but its easily treatable.
Her: oh good, so after we treat it I can't get it again, right?
the sight of blood is inevitable as well. blood doesn't bother me - the only blood that is bothersome is squirting blood. squirting blood mean i have to do something about it sooner rather than later. well usually. all bleeding eventually stops - direct pressure clots off things - so does death - unfortunately i've stopped bleeding both ways
2. sound - there a distinctive sound that reasonates occasionally - the sound of a demented old lady feeling like she's being attacked. i guess in a way she is - we usually are stabbing her with a large sharp needle or trying to put a catheter in her bladder which only goes in one way. this noise is less bothersome. the screaming of a drug seeker usually tops all- my personal favorite. as long as its not my patient - "give me the name of your supervisior" "I'm reporting you to the state" "all i wanted was help for my pain and you ignored me" "you'll be hearing from my lawyer" - thank you sir - i heard that the last 8 times you were here. thankfully narcotics are all discretionary - i'm not obligated to give anyone anything if i don't feel its justified. and the hospital/state/lawyers back you up usually.
the real clincher is the hollaring of a disimpaction. no one calls for mommy quicker than when you've gotta pull poop out of them. lets just say old captain hook usually does the job.
other senses to come...
February 14, 2011
vday toon
February 10, 2011
February 07, 2011
February 04, 2011
church hunting
so we're still pretty new in this town - only 6 months or so now
unfortunately, we still haven't found the right church for us. we've officially now been to 14 churches. that's right, 14. there are at least that many sundays in 6 months - minus the days i had to work during church.
its been this wide variety of stuff. we grew up episcopalian - but are not really interested much in that after the big split and the whole "Jesus isn't the only way" fiasco - so we've been branching out.
i know i mentioned previously that we were looking for a church somewhere between animal sacrifice and laser light shows - and we've pretty much seen that full spectrum. one of our earlier sundays we tried this megachurch in the closest suburb to where we live - mega-mania - starbucks in the lobby, kid check in with a key chain barcode, road cycling team signing up participants in the lobby -fully decked out in their "this is not a jewish synagogue spandex" - and then we went inside. total rock concert - laser lights, smoke, flashing lights that shot out into the crowd - and the yelling. i have this thing about when the pastor yells. if you have to scream to make your point, its probably not that good of a point to begin with. but we tried it - and found ourselves there for an actual rock concert the next month - well it was steven curtis chapman - but he did rock out (she made me go - but it was pretty good - if you could get past the 40 and 50 yr old chubby row behind us dancing) - so we haven't been back there yet
-this week was actually very entertaining. a smaller non-denon church north of us. decent worship, a little bit odd people and the pastor was hilarious. a little too hilarious. i definatetly felt like we were at stand-up night at a club. he did my other main pet peeve of pastors - asking you constantly to repeat things to him. "church say - power, say in the right - say freedom" - you know the whole congregation in unison - its kind of this weird hypnotist power that they have to command at will. ( i saw the light - and the light was green - green with money - give me your money) i actually kinda like that church in a strange way, but there has to be some element of reverence or holiness - don't think i can go to the comedy club year round on sundays. - he did say one thing i thought was pretty interesting - the pastor said, "get you screaming voices ready, your stomping feet ready, you clapping hands ready - because we are here for heaven practice every week.'' guess i never really thought of it that way, but it is an interesting concept. church is heaven practice. In some ways i think that's probably pretty true - good thing i've got me good shoes on for the stomping
then there's been all in between - i was kinda kidding about the animal sacrifice stuff - but i'm sure we could find it here in town. we're kinda narrowed to 2 presby churches and 2 nondenoms - still not sure - but they at least have reasonable mix of semicontemporary music and reasonable teaching. one of those has a pastor that has cried in all 3 sermons we've heard from him- not sure about that one - its not necessarily at a very emotional moment either - i'm a little concerned about his stability - but its still on the list.
there's one downtown we like - good liturgy and teaching, but they only sing old hymns - i like a good old hymn every now and then - especially if its gots some contemporary pep - but this is drudgery and i'm pretty sure the pianist is playing them in slow motion. the words kinda slowly crawl off the tongue to slow down to the beat.
i don't know where we'll end up. just tired of searching. thinking about giving in and going for the people and some solid Word. its tough to think you're smack dab in the bible belt and can't find a church that doesn't give you the heebs or break into snore during the service.
my poor kids too- that's 14 different nurseries, 14 nursery ladies with crazy hair, weird smells, "safe for everyone" snacks, even stranger checkin policies (keychains, wristbands, bracelets, back stickers) and clowns painted on the wall - i'm pretty sure my 2 yr old thinks we go to the circus every sunday - mostly because sometimes its like that.
not sure where we'll end up, but we'll keep you posted on the adventure - and the snake charmers
unfortunately, we still haven't found the right church for us. we've officially now been to 14 churches. that's right, 14. there are at least that many sundays in 6 months - minus the days i had to work during church.
its been this wide variety of stuff. we grew up episcopalian - but are not really interested much in that after the big split and the whole "Jesus isn't the only way" fiasco - so we've been branching out.
i know i mentioned previously that we were looking for a church somewhere between animal sacrifice and laser light shows - and we've pretty much seen that full spectrum. one of our earlier sundays we tried this megachurch in the closest suburb to where we live - mega-mania - starbucks in the lobby, kid check in with a key chain barcode, road cycling team signing up participants in the lobby -fully decked out in their "this is not a jewish synagogue spandex" - and then we went inside. total rock concert - laser lights, smoke, flashing lights that shot out into the crowd - and the yelling. i have this thing about when the pastor yells. if you have to scream to make your point, its probably not that good of a point to begin with. but we tried it - and found ourselves there for an actual rock concert the next month - well it was steven curtis chapman - but he did rock out (she made me go - but it was pretty good - if you could get past the 40 and 50 yr old chubby row behind us dancing) - so we haven't been back there yet
-this week was actually very entertaining. a smaller non-denon church north of us. decent worship, a little bit odd people and the pastor was hilarious. a little too hilarious. i definatetly felt like we were at stand-up night at a club. he did my other main pet peeve of pastors - asking you constantly to repeat things to him. "church say - power, say in the right - say freedom" - you know the whole congregation in unison - its kind of this weird hypnotist power that they have to command at will. ( i saw the light - and the light was green - green with money - give me your money) i actually kinda like that church in a strange way, but there has to be some element of reverence or holiness - don't think i can go to the comedy club year round on sundays. - he did say one thing i thought was pretty interesting - the pastor said, "get you screaming voices ready, your stomping feet ready, you clapping hands ready - because we are here for heaven practice every week.'' guess i never really thought of it that way, but it is an interesting concept. church is heaven practice. In some ways i think that's probably pretty true - good thing i've got me good shoes on for the stomping
then there's been all in between - i was kinda kidding about the animal sacrifice stuff - but i'm sure we could find it here in town. we're kinda narrowed to 2 presby churches and 2 nondenoms - still not sure - but they at least have reasonable mix of semicontemporary music and reasonable teaching. one of those has a pastor that has cried in all 3 sermons we've heard from him- not sure about that one - its not necessarily at a very emotional moment either - i'm a little concerned about his stability - but its still on the list.
there's one downtown we like - good liturgy and teaching, but they only sing old hymns - i like a good old hymn every now and then - especially if its gots some contemporary pep - but this is drudgery and i'm pretty sure the pianist is playing them in slow motion. the words kinda slowly crawl off the tongue to slow down to the beat.
i don't know where we'll end up. just tired of searching. thinking about giving in and going for the people and some solid Word. its tough to think you're smack dab in the bible belt and can't find a church that doesn't give you the heebs or break into snore during the service.
my poor kids too- that's 14 different nurseries, 14 nursery ladies with crazy hair, weird smells, "safe for everyone" snacks, even stranger checkin policies (keychains, wristbands, bracelets, back stickers) and clowns painted on the wall - i'm pretty sure my 2 yr old thinks we go to the circus every sunday - mostly because sometimes its like that.
not sure where we'll end up, but we'll keep you posted on the adventure - and the snake charmers
February 02, 2011
toon
January 31, 2011
January 28, 2011
running
I know I prepped you slightly about my obligate running. its that part of the marriage contract down in the fine print on the bottom. at least on ours. we had a friend at a camp we used to work at in Maine talk about his testimony using a marathon he had run recently as a recurring example. my wife got inspired. i got tired. somehow i agreed to run the houston marathon with her as our first. a good course, nice and flat. (a lot of you will appreciate that this weekend when your fulfilling your contract in houston). afterwards, i thought to myself - whew, did that for the wife and now i can cross that off my list of life goals. 1 week later i get an email in my inbox - "congratulations on your registration for the austin half marathon" - i guess at least it was only a half. not like the marathon we did the year after that - after a certain point (mile 20, more specifically) my calves like to go into superspasm - they literally fibrillate (think of a big bag of worms creeping and crawling) i walked backwards the last 4 miles on the last one. and popped pills from a stranger because he said it would help. (i figured they had to be good, since the race was in California) it was easy to spot the 6ft5 undertrained guy.
-its not that i don't enjoy running - its just that i really don't enjoy running
-so now, as i alluded to in a prior post, "santa" signed us both conveniently up for a local 10K. its interesting, don't you think, that his bowl full of jelly and rosy cheeks couldn't do 10K. why do i have to? i know, i know, quit your whining- its only a 10K. but its not really about that - its about the process
-we now live in the foothills - and my feet and these hills don't get along- up and down. i prefer the flat island i grew up on- at least for running that is. a simple 4 miles ain't the same with the "simple roll" of the hills - we have one large hill on our normal route that has been dubbed the "big nasty" -its only like 25% incline, but brutal nonetheless. i'm not sure where the nasty comes in, but you get the picture
-the other thing in our neighborhood has got these super caved out gutters. you know that kind that seems like the construction crew carved out of the earth. a deep chasm were the road gives away steeply into the abyss of the underground. it might swallow you, small children, and definately any animal under 40 pounds if you get too close. i almost fell in the other week when it was icy after our snowstorm. i started wearing my ring on the band of my watch in case i get sucked down one - maybe they'll take pity and try and find a wife to send my battered body to
-now that we have kids - forget about running with them. ever pushed a 15 pound stroller with a 2 year old and a 10 month old up and down the rolling hills - brutal. especially when they throw out their passies, juice cups - an onslaught of goldfish to the eye, a giraffe careening for the bottomless gutter and cinderella thrown at the neighborhood dog. forget it. we take turns now and run seperate.
-then there's the music - we share an ipod - i should probably get my own, but we share the music. my wife's serious about the music - if she can't find it or the battery is dead, she won't go. and the playlist. lets just say we have a little give and take - she prefers a long line of hillsong, 80s cheese christian music and godspell - now i reallly like hillsong most of the time, but i have a hard time getting motivated to "put a pebble in my shoe" or "by my side" as i trot alone up the "big nasty". i'm a little more rockin with some beats - moby or black eyed peas -my wife was telling me she does like to run to the one moby song that's the theme music from the jason bourne series - she like to pretend she's angelina jolie bolting down the street as an undercover agent of some kind - you know, normal undercover agent stuff like running in broad daylight with reflective clothing
-there's also this preponderence of songs talking about going home or moving on her list for some reason - "i'm going home to the place where i belong", "take me home country roads" (not really sure how that got on there), "dare you to move" (i'm going already), and my favorie motivating moby - 'run on' that goes like this "you might run on for a long time - run more, dunkin and dodging, run on children for a long time..." - let just say it certainly feels that way = especially since it repeats this line over and over - but its at a good rhythm that keeps me moving up the big nasty.
-the joys of marital obligations
-its not that i don't enjoy running - its just that i really don't enjoy running
-so now, as i alluded to in a prior post, "santa" signed us both conveniently up for a local 10K. its interesting, don't you think, that his bowl full of jelly and rosy cheeks couldn't do 10K. why do i have to? i know, i know, quit your whining- its only a 10K. but its not really about that - its about the process
-we now live in the foothills - and my feet and these hills don't get along- up and down. i prefer the flat island i grew up on- at least for running that is. a simple 4 miles ain't the same with the "simple roll" of the hills - we have one large hill on our normal route that has been dubbed the "big nasty" -its only like 25% incline, but brutal nonetheless. i'm not sure where the nasty comes in, but you get the picture
-the other thing in our neighborhood has got these super caved out gutters. you know that kind that seems like the construction crew carved out of the earth. a deep chasm were the road gives away steeply into the abyss of the underground. it might swallow you, small children, and definately any animal under 40 pounds if you get too close. i almost fell in the other week when it was icy after our snowstorm. i started wearing my ring on the band of my watch in case i get sucked down one - maybe they'll take pity and try and find a wife to send my battered body to
-now that we have kids - forget about running with them. ever pushed a 15 pound stroller with a 2 year old and a 10 month old up and down the rolling hills - brutal. especially when they throw out their passies, juice cups - an onslaught of goldfish to the eye, a giraffe careening for the bottomless gutter and cinderella thrown at the neighborhood dog. forget it. we take turns now and run seperate.
-then there's the music - we share an ipod - i should probably get my own, but we share the music. my wife's serious about the music - if she can't find it or the battery is dead, she won't go. and the playlist. lets just say we have a little give and take - she prefers a long line of hillsong, 80s cheese christian music and godspell - now i reallly like hillsong most of the time, but i have a hard time getting motivated to "put a pebble in my shoe" or "by my side" as i trot alone up the "big nasty". i'm a little more rockin with some beats - moby or black eyed peas -my wife was telling me she does like to run to the one moby song that's the theme music from the jason bourne series - she like to pretend she's angelina jolie bolting down the street as an undercover agent of some kind - you know, normal undercover agent stuff like running in broad daylight with reflective clothing
-there's also this preponderence of songs talking about going home or moving on her list for some reason - "i'm going home to the place where i belong", "take me home country roads" (not really sure how that got on there), "dare you to move" (i'm going already), and my favorie motivating moby - 'run on' that goes like this "you might run on for a long time - run more, dunkin and dodging, run on children for a long time..." - let just say it certainly feels that way = especially since it repeats this line over and over - but its at a good rhythm that keeps me moving up the big nasty.
-the joys of marital obligations
January 26, 2011
January 25, 2011
January 24, 2011
names in the ED
I've thought about this often and thought it would make an interesting post. people are crazy. i've been compiling a list of peoples actual names that have wandered their way in the ED over the last few years with some appropriate pronunciation guides as needed to help you out. this list will help to show you how normal you really are:
Jhailey (JAHALEE)- that's right, hailey with J
Paislee (PAIZLEE) - just seemed odd to me, who wants to be named after a funny squiggle
Qiana (KEYANA) - no pithy comment - just strange
Lacoya (LACOYA) - sounds like something in the arizonan desert
Clerndon - he was only 18yrs old. but fit the picture - rebel barbed wire tattoo. did I mention I work in the south?
De'Mya Re'Dreen - that was just her first name (not middle or last) and I didn't ask how to pronounce it with all those apostrophes (which in the south are called - "comma to the top")
Dat - he was asian - but reminded me of that song - "like dis and like dat and like dis and a"
Dorcas (DOORKAS) - Biblical yes - current and relevant no - there might be a root name i'm missing here
Flolita - not aunt flo or lolita - a skewed mixture of both
Prince - not the symbol
Princess - oh yes, she was
Babygirl - so in case you didn't know, all kids are named babygirl(boy) on delivery with your last name - and if you never change it (or grow to like it) you end up with it
Candida - not a flower
Gonorrhea - also not a flower, i guess she could go by rhea for short (of course that has its own problems)
Moose - yes, oh yes
Armani - her sister's name you ask? Chanel
Sexy - someone was definately high - not a nickname
Female (FUMALEE) - thankfully is was a girl - just an uncreative mother
Abcd (ABEECEEDEE) - that right, the first 4 letters of the alphabet. that's pretty lazy. at least she has a vowel in there so people don't think she's foreign. the better part is that if you say it really fast it sounds like your saying "obesity" - which would be an appropriate term in this case
and two of my personal favorites were twins in the nursery when I was in med school:
Lemonjello & Orangejello - sucks to be them - good thing there wasn't pudding on the hospital menu
Jhailey (JAHALEE)- that's right, hailey with J
Paislee (PAIZLEE) - just seemed odd to me, who wants to be named after a funny squiggle
Qiana (KEYANA) - no pithy comment - just strange
Lacoya (LACOYA) - sounds like something in the arizonan desert
Clerndon - he was only 18yrs old. but fit the picture - rebel barbed wire tattoo. did I mention I work in the south?
De'Mya Re'Dreen - that was just her first name (not middle or last) and I didn't ask how to pronounce it with all those apostrophes (which in the south are called - "comma to the top")
Dat - he was asian - but reminded me of that song - "like dis and like dat and like dis and a"
Dorcas (DOORKAS) - Biblical yes - current and relevant no - there might be a root name i'm missing here
Flolita - not aunt flo or lolita - a skewed mixture of both
Prince - not the symbol
Princess - oh yes, she was
Babygirl - so in case you didn't know, all kids are named babygirl(boy) on delivery with your last name - and if you never change it (or grow to like it) you end up with it
Candida - not a flower
Gonorrhea - also not a flower, i guess she could go by rhea for short (of course that has its own problems)
Moose - yes, oh yes
Armani - her sister's name you ask? Chanel
Sexy - someone was definately high - not a nickname
Female (FUMALEE) - thankfully is was a girl - just an uncreative mother
Abcd (ABEECEEDEE) - that right, the first 4 letters of the alphabet. that's pretty lazy. at least she has a vowel in there so people don't think she's foreign. the better part is that if you say it really fast it sounds like your saying "obesity" - which would be an appropriate term in this case
and two of my personal favorites were twins in the nursery when I was in med school:
Lemonjello & Orangejello - sucks to be them - good thing there wasn't pudding on the hospital menu
January 22, 2011
email sigs
email signatures aren't a strange thing - most of the time.
most people have fairly simple sigs - you know - name, maybe their title at the company, etc.
some people find it a chance to display their over-wowing prowess and great accomplishments
i recently got a sig like this attatched to an email:
M*** B****, BS, BSN, MSN, CDE
Director of *********
Asst Director to *********
Division of *********
Department of ******
work address
city, state, zip
work number
home number
work email
home email
work website
If this communication involves discussion of patient care issues in the performance improvement process, it is protected from discovery by **** Evidence Code 1157 as a confidential medical staff communication.
-i was looking for the name of her firstborn child as well - it has enough information on there that i don't think we'll have to ask for her resume if she's looking for a job. --i'm not really sure what a CDE is either - i'm pretty sure that one's made up. also, if you've got a higher degree, why list your bachelors? seriously, if you've got a masters i think you've proven that you've moved on. plus, who wants to write the letters BS after your name. maybe it is BS - i'm pretty sure my degree in microbiology was BS - hardly remember a thing.
-last year when i was doing my fellowship i sometimes made up this fake sig that i would write out to look important. it said my name with one set of letters, such and such -- (big university name, etc) i really only did it if i wanted a response quickly. it seems like people write back faster if you appear to be important. maybe that's why people put all those letters and such after their names
-another email i used to get commonly from one of the administrators always had this on the bottom with her sig:
can you remember the last time you printed an email? i'm pretty sure i haven't in at least 5 years. i guess if it had directions on it? (just punch it into your phone - it'd be faster) i think i'm now considering the environment - DELETE or better yet "hide all gertrude"
-maybe the best was one i got yesterday from work. this little beauty appeared after her qualifications and address:
I'm not really sure what elmo has anything to do with integrity. anyone who's nick name is "tickle me" quickly loses all notions of credibility. and is he at a disco? maybe integrity is just 'stayin alive'
i recently got a sig like this attatched to an email:
M*** B****, BS, BSN, MSN, CDE
Director of *********
Asst Director to *********
Division of *********
Department of ******
work address
city, state, zip
work number
home number
work email
home email
work website
If this communication involves discussion of patient care issues in the performance improvement process, it is protected from discovery by **** Evidence Code 1157 as a confidential medical staff communication.
-i was looking for the name of her firstborn child as well - it has enough information on there that i don't think we'll have to ask for her resume if she's looking for a job. --i'm not really sure what a CDE is either - i'm pretty sure that one's made up. also, if you've got a higher degree, why list your bachelors? seriously, if you've got a masters i think you've proven that you've moved on. plus, who wants to write the letters BS after your name. maybe it is BS - i'm pretty sure my degree in microbiology was BS - hardly remember a thing.
-last year when i was doing my fellowship i sometimes made up this fake sig that i would write out to look important. it said my name with one set of letters, such and such -- (big university name, etc) i really only did it if i wanted a response quickly. it seems like people write back faster if you appear to be important. maybe that's why people put all those letters and such after their names
-another email i used to get commonly from one of the administrators always had this on the bottom with her sig:
P please consider the environment before printing this email
can you remember the last time you printed an email? i'm pretty sure i haven't in at least 5 years. i guess if it had directions on it? (just punch it into your phone - it'd be faster) i think i'm now considering the environment - DELETE or better yet "hide all gertrude"
-maybe the best was one i got yesterday from work. this little beauty appeared after her qualifications and address:
Integrity....it's what you do when no one's looking.
I'm not really sure what elmo has anything to do with integrity. anyone who's nick name is "tickle me" quickly loses all notions of credibility. and is he at a disco? maybe integrity is just 'stayin alive'
January 21, 2011
January 20, 2011
So, everyone's on FB. me too - but a little sneakily. somehow i convinced my wife that we should just share an account long ago before it exploded into the sweetness that it is now. i actually really like FB - i probably check it more times a day than my wife. of course the accounts in her name - well our name, but she's listed first. and all the info is about her. it kinda works in our favor - less creepy people from out past can find us easily. i know, i know, we don't have to be their friends. i just don't even want them looking for me - or her for that matter.
-i like the anonymity between us having a joint named account- people aren't sure who's posting. its kinda this married person guessing game. like those ambiguous posts that say "wow, i look hot in pink" or "he looks jewish in those tights" to keep people guessing who it is. it creates humor for us - and definately others.
-FB also ushered the christmas card let down. we got like 25 cards this year - actually a record for us. but definately every picture we had already seen on FB. we were guilty too. stupid cute kids - overtaken again. good thing i know where they sleep - or in our case wake up (like every hour - no seriously)
-i also kinda don't like that you can see who's online all the time. there's definately people i'm friends with that i surely don't want to chat with in real time. you know that feeling when joe blow chats with you and you stare at that pop up box. "oh, i'm not here. i definately just stepped away from the computer." (online status- active) sorry peeps - we don't really like all of you. you know what i'm talking about. that person probably from your hometown who asked you 3 times to be friends before you finally accepted. and then you did the polite thing and clicked "hide all gertrude" posts on the news feed. you know who you are. one word of advice. don't unfriend them - that comes back to bite you. nothing like having someone to re-request to be your friend when they thought they were. (sometimes twice) hello face - apply egg.
-i think they ought to do a new addition to FB. a dislike button. there's a like button. and i know the like button is for us lazy people who don't want to say "congratulations!" again in a more creative way than the last 23 people congratulating you on your newborn child. but i need a dislike button when someone updates their status about a dead pet or something. or when some of my left-winger friends post happy agenda propaganda. DISLIKE - you could see it would be useful. or when one of those half-friends posts that he's not sure if his girlfriends baby is really his. it deserves a dislike. or a "hide all gertrude" moment. whichever works.
-i also think you should be able to disable the "like" button for certain posts. i sometimes get a little nervous i'm gonna click "like" on accident next to "we found out today furrball has cancer and had to put her down" - i guess if i did i could say my wife did it
-i like the anonymity between us having a joint named account- people aren't sure who's posting. its kinda this married person guessing game. like those ambiguous posts that say "wow, i look hot in pink" or "he looks jewish in those tights" to keep people guessing who it is. it creates humor for us - and definately others.
-FB also ushered the christmas card let down. we got like 25 cards this year - actually a record for us. but definately every picture we had already seen on FB. we were guilty too. stupid cute kids - overtaken again. good thing i know where they sleep - or in our case wake up (like every hour - no seriously)
-i also kinda don't like that you can see who's online all the time. there's definately people i'm friends with that i surely don't want to chat with in real time. you know that feeling when joe blow chats with you and you stare at that pop up box. "oh, i'm not here. i definately just stepped away from the computer." (online status- active) sorry peeps - we don't really like all of you. you know what i'm talking about. that person probably from your hometown who asked you 3 times to be friends before you finally accepted. and then you did the polite thing and clicked "hide all gertrude" posts on the news feed. you know who you are. one word of advice. don't unfriend them - that comes back to bite you. nothing like having someone to re-request to be your friend when they thought they were. (sometimes twice) hello face - apply egg.
-i think they ought to do a new addition to FB. a dislike button. there's a like button. and i know the like button is for us lazy people who don't want to say "congratulations!" again in a more creative way than the last 23 people congratulating you on your newborn child. but i need a dislike button when someone updates their status about a dead pet or something. or when some of my left-winger friends post happy agenda propaganda. DISLIKE - you could see it would be useful. or when one of those half-friends posts that he's not sure if his girlfriends baby is really his. it deserves a dislike. or a "hide all gertrude" moment. whichever works.
-i also think you should be able to disable the "like" button for certain posts. i sometimes get a little nervous i'm gonna click "like" on accident next to "we found out today furrball has cancer and had to put her down" - i guess if i did i could say my wife did it
toon
January 19, 2011
Tangents - First Post
So I'm finally slightly giving in. My wife's been pushing me to do a blog - I'm still not really sure why. I'm not really the blogging type. I'm a little more of the drop-the-one-liner type. She said that's why I should blog. She also said because I'm funny. Not sure that qualifies me either. I do kinda have a random stream of consciousness (but probably not a conscious)
Maybe its her lack of blog posts. She started a blog about our family (ellispartyof5.blogspot.com) and is lucky to get one or 2 posts a month up. Don't get me wrong - she plenty busy otherwise - 2 kids under 3. I'm surprised she has time to go to the bathroom during the day.
We do follow a few blogs online of some friends - they definately strike me as entertaining. well some of them - a lady i used to work with had a blog about 2 yorkies i can't say i frequently visit (or even twice). the wife thinks i'm entertaining - hence me starting this blog.
So what is this blog about? Tangents I guess - so goes the title. I have a lot of weird tangents and things that seem to constantly run through my head - not like females with that over analytical stent on every detail of how her boot color clashes with her eyelashes - more like weird funny stuff. not so funny stuff too. my wife thinks i should talk about the everyday - since in our lives usually that's pretty funny in itself. and things i'm into. so i guess that's what it'll be about - stuff i'm into - so it'll be a little random - work, family, hobbies, stupid cartoons, a smorgasbord of randomness ( I like words like smorgasbord - but probably won't get featured as work of the day on Pee Wee's playhouse)
To start, I guess I'll talk a little bit about me to set the stage some. which means this might be the most boring post i do - tough - I'm sarcastic - not sure if that really comes out in my writing. i guess if you know me, you'll hear my tone. if you're offended - you probably missed the sarcasm. if your confused, yea - then too
-we just moved to the southeast about 6 months ago - 2 cross country moves in less than a year. Its tough getting to a new place - tough to make friends, tough finding the right church - i guess that's why i'm blogging - no local friends. so maybe i'll find some online friends - in reality, probably people I already know that feel bad for me. or creeps.
-i'm not big on punctuation, capital letters or complete sentences. i kinda like how the "i" looks all by itself - in case you couldn't tell. people don't talk in complete sentences. blogs shouldn't have to be. its not that i don't how or where to punch it in - just prefer not to. like how i just ended that last sentence with a preposition. my english minor sister would gasp.
-i'm a husband - i married a girl i met in junior high (when we were both in junior high - sick) aww, that's sweet you say. I always would tell people that I couldn't get rid of her, so I had to marry her. she hates it when I say that. Her name is Sarah - no namelessness here - we used to follow this blog where the guy tried to stay anonymous and write about his wife and kids calling the "she" and "girl #1" or fake names like "mona." no thanks. it was a little to weird - plus we all knew who he was talkling about - i think he's really in the FBI or CIA or something though. oops. was that a secret?
-I'm a dad - 2 great kids (so far - lets just say i've talked her down from 6 successfully) - "mona" is a girl - j/k - Taylor is my oldest - almost 2 1/2. smart as a whip (but aren't everyone's kids smart when they're yours) and a super repeater - its changed our vocabulary some. not like we cuss or scream expletives or anything - just things you don't want your 2 year old to say in public - you know like "shh. daddy's watching the bachelor" - and my now 9 1/2 month old that i just pulled a AAA battery out of his mouth - much sweeter than "mona" - definately with his own personality and way into speed crawling - especially when it involves eating dog food - which i'm sure he's done - and maybe now as i type. so i'm sure some posts about my kiddos
-I'm an ED doc up the road in a smaller city (a more country town- kinda a more fingers than teeth kinda place - but sometimes normal folks, too). lots of my crazy stories and randomness might come form this. most people that walk/wheel into the ED are a little off their rocker to begin with. and the workers are too. you have at least one screw partially loose to work there. the specialty attracts us, i guess. Like the lady night before last who told me her new tattoo hurts. i asked her if they repetitively poked her with a needle to do it. she said yes.
-I'm a Christian. still looking for a church in our new town. we've probably tried 15 and haven't found the right fit yet. we're somewhere between the laser light show and animal sacrifices. still hunting. some posts will be about my devotions and spiritual matters. hopefully they won't all end up like this:
-I like photography. somehow i convinced my wife to let me buy a super expensive camera before our first child was born - i said to document her life - secretly i needed an excuse - and hoped i could push off the olan mills style family portraits which aren't cheap. and who wants a guy named olan on your picture anyway. so you might see some photography.
-I'm an obligate runner - you know like away from bears, wolverines, ligers - or when my wife signs me up for races. at least its only a 10K this time. i think santa was trying to say something when he brought me running shoes, running socks, running shorts and entered me into a 10K. we've done some marathons in the past - another marital obligation - she loves to run - i just don't like being overweight. kids do that to you - gained 35 pounds since our first child - you know, pregnancy sympathy weight. all those runs out to McD when she craved nuggets. none of that now that she's put me on the "new year's diet" - more on that later.
so that's a starting point. i think i'll stop there for now. hope the tangents didn't overtake you
Maybe its her lack of blog posts. She started a blog about our family (ellispartyof5.blogspot.com) and is lucky to get one or 2 posts a month up. Don't get me wrong - she plenty busy otherwise - 2 kids under 3. I'm surprised she has time to go to the bathroom during the day.
We do follow a few blogs online of some friends - they definately strike me as entertaining. well some of them - a lady i used to work with had a blog about 2 yorkies i can't say i frequently visit (or even twice). the wife thinks i'm entertaining - hence me starting this blog.
So what is this blog about? Tangents I guess - so goes the title. I have a lot of weird tangents and things that seem to constantly run through my head - not like females with that over analytical stent on every detail of how her boot color clashes with her eyelashes - more like weird funny stuff. not so funny stuff too. my wife thinks i should talk about the everyday - since in our lives usually that's pretty funny in itself. and things i'm into. so i guess that's what it'll be about - stuff i'm into - so it'll be a little random - work, family, hobbies, stupid cartoons, a smorgasbord of randomness ( I like words like smorgasbord - but probably won't get featured as work of the day on Pee Wee's playhouse)
To start, I guess I'll talk a little bit about me to set the stage some. which means this might be the most boring post i do - tough - I'm sarcastic - not sure if that really comes out in my writing. i guess if you know me, you'll hear my tone. if you're offended - you probably missed the sarcasm. if your confused, yea - then too
-we just moved to the southeast about 6 months ago - 2 cross country moves in less than a year. Its tough getting to a new place - tough to make friends, tough finding the right church - i guess that's why i'm blogging - no local friends. so maybe i'll find some online friends - in reality, probably people I already know that feel bad for me. or creeps.
-i'm not big on punctuation, capital letters or complete sentences. i kinda like how the "i" looks all by itself - in case you couldn't tell. people don't talk in complete sentences. blogs shouldn't have to be. its not that i don't how or where to punch it in - just prefer not to. like how i just ended that last sentence with a preposition. my english minor sister would gasp.
-i'm a husband - i married a girl i met in junior high (when we were both in junior high - sick) aww, that's sweet you say. I always would tell people that I couldn't get rid of her, so I had to marry her. she hates it when I say that. Her name is Sarah - no namelessness here - we used to follow this blog where the guy tried to stay anonymous and write about his wife and kids calling the "she" and "girl #1" or fake names like "mona." no thanks. it was a little to weird - plus we all knew who he was talkling about - i think he's really in the FBI or CIA or something though. oops. was that a secret?
-I'm a dad - 2 great kids (so far - lets just say i've talked her down from 6 successfully) - "mona" is a girl - j/k - Taylor is my oldest - almost 2 1/2. smart as a whip (but aren't everyone's kids smart when they're yours) and a super repeater - its changed our vocabulary some. not like we cuss or scream expletives or anything - just things you don't want your 2 year old to say in public - you know like "shh. daddy's watching the bachelor" - and my now 9 1/2 month old that i just pulled a AAA battery out of his mouth - much sweeter than "mona" - definately with his own personality and way into speed crawling - especially when it involves eating dog food - which i'm sure he's done - and maybe now as i type. so i'm sure some posts about my kiddos
-I'm an ED doc up the road in a smaller city (a more country town- kinda a more fingers than teeth kinda place - but sometimes normal folks, too). lots of my crazy stories and randomness might come form this. most people that walk/wheel into the ED are a little off their rocker to begin with. and the workers are too. you have at least one screw partially loose to work there. the specialty attracts us, i guess. Like the lady night before last who told me her new tattoo hurts. i asked her if they repetitively poked her with a needle to do it. she said yes.
-I'm a Christian. still looking for a church in our new town. we've probably tried 15 and haven't found the right fit yet. we're somewhere between the laser light show and animal sacrifices. still hunting. some posts will be about my devotions and spiritual matters. hopefully they won't all end up like this:
-I love the outdoors - did a whole fellowship in wilderness medicine out in california last year - went ridiculously more into debt for it. i think sarah's still mad about that. we do love to camp, hike, backpack, mountain bike (despite the current 2 flat tires), and climb. not that we've done much of that since we had kids. but some posts might be about the outdoors or wilderness medicine.
-I like photography. somehow i convinced my wife to let me buy a super expensive camera before our first child was born - i said to document her life - secretly i needed an excuse - and hoped i could push off the olan mills style family portraits which aren't cheap. and who wants a guy named olan on your picture anyway. so you might see some photography.
-I'm an obligate runner - you know like away from bears, wolverines, ligers - or when my wife signs me up for races. at least its only a 10K this time. i think santa was trying to say something when he brought me running shoes, running socks, running shorts and entered me into a 10K. we've done some marathons in the past - another marital obligation - she loves to run - i just don't like being overweight. kids do that to you - gained 35 pounds since our first child - you know, pregnancy sympathy weight. all those runs out to McD when she craved nuggets. none of that now that she's put me on the "new year's diet" - more on that later.
so that's a starting point. i think i'll stop there for now. hope the tangents didn't overtake you
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)